For Real Men Only - Toss out your paper dolls, get this app, and shazam! - INSTANT MANHOOD

“_____ ______’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.” Now fill in the blank!

You know where this is going. You can put in any name you’d like, but you probably have one specific name in mind...

And guess what. Once you think of that name, you can enter it in and have the WHOLE APP be all about that person! Here’s another fill-in-the-blank question:

“When _____ ______ does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the Earth down.”

Again, put in any name you want, whether it’s a friend or a famous actor. But most of you probably have only one name in mind ;)

IMPORTANT: Please note that no one can be held responsible for the changes you undergo as the result of downloading this app. Don’t complain that you’re suddenly growing a lot of hair on your chest. This stuff happens.

Here’s more of what may happen to you:

PROVEN TO RAISE TESTOSTERONE LEVELS:
You’re going to start using Tabasco sauce for eye drops from now on. Why? Because its MANLY, BADASS, and JUST FREAKIN AWESOME! Got a bug in your eye? Some chilli sauce will get that right out. Not to mention youll teach that bug a lesson it wont ever forget!

THIS APP COMES WITH ITS OWN PAIR OF TESTICLES:
Your beard will grow thicker and your voice will deepen. You’ll sometimes feel the urge to drop what you’re doing and go chop wood in the forest. Flannel shirts will slowly start taking over your wardrobe. And you’ll start to dislike vegetarians. But you’ll deal with them the same way you deal with all your problems now: roundhouse kick first, ask questions later.

THROW OUT YOUR CHARGER:
Your device doesnt consume electricity anymore. Once you download this app, it will need RAW MEAT to keep working. Letting it rest overnight on a bloody steak should do the trick. Dont you dare try vegetables. In fact, just for thinking of that, this app might just karate chop your face. Maybe if you give it some T-Rex meat, it might not do that. Then again, it may just eat the meat and karate chop you anyways. Youve been warned...

FEATURES:
• 400+ facts. Some classic. Some fresh. All manly!
• Customizable! Put in whatever name you want!
• Favorites section. Like a fact? Then save it!
• Ordered mode. See all 400+ facts without repeats.
• Random mode. You won’t know what to expect!
• Share with friends via Email or Facebook!
• Fact competition! Submit your best ones!
• Retina display support.

MORE DISCLAIMERS:

Women: Downloading this app legally makes you a man in 72 countries.

Men: Not downloading this app may lead to foot-shaped bruises on your face.